Squirting: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and How to Actually Make It Happen

Squirting is one of those topics that generates enormous curiosity and almost equal amounts of confusion.

It gets glorified in pornography, dismissed by skeptics, and quietly wondered about by a huge number of couples who have never actually talked about it openly.

So let’s talk about it properly.

This article covers what squirting actually is physiologically, what the research says about who can do it, why the emotional and psychological conditions matter as much as the physical technique, and a practical breakdown of how to approach it if it is something you and your partner want to explore.

Here is what I am covering:

Start here, because the confusion about what squirting is creates most of the anxiety around it.

The fluid released during squirting comes from two sources. The first is the Skene’s glands, sometimes called the female prostate, which produce a milky, prostate-like fluid.

The second is the bladder, which contributes a mostly water-based liquid. The ratio between the two varies from person to person and from session to session.

This is why some lab analyses detect traces of urine in squirt fluid. If there is residual urine in the bladder before sex, it gets mixed into the fluid.

This does not mean squirting is simply urination. It means the bladder is involved in the process, which is physiologically distinct from voluntarily urinating.

No. And this is one of the most important things to understand.

Squirting and orgasm are separate events that sometimes happen together and sometimes do not. Some women orgasm while squirting. Some squirt without orgasming. Some experience intense pleasure without either.

The assumption that squirting automatically equals orgasm comes largely from pornography, where male ejaculation is used as the visual signal that something climactic happened. The female experience does not work that way.

Some women feel genuinely empowered and euphoric when they squirt. Others feel embarrassed or disconnected from the experience entirely. Both responses are valid and both are common.

Framing squirting as a goal or a performance metric — something he is trying to achieve rather than something she is experiencing — almost always gets in the way of it actually happening.

This is the technical piece most people get wrong.

The G-spot is not a discrete anatomical button. It is a region on the anterior wall of the vagina, roughly two to three inches inside, that overlies the Skene’s glands and urethral tissue. When adequately stimulated, this area swells with fluid and becomes significantly more sensitive.

The key word in that sentence is adequately.

G-spot stimulation is primarily pressure-based, not friction-based. The nerve endings in this area respond to firm, sustained pressure rather than rapid in-and-out movement.

This is why the standard approach to manual stimulation that works well on other parts of the body often produces little or no sensation internally. The stimulation threshold is higher, and the type of stimulation required is fundamentally different.

A firm come-hither motion with the fingers, pressing upward toward the belly button against the front wall of the vagina, is the classic approach. The angle matters.

The pressure matters. The consistency of the pressure matters. Speed is much less relevant than most people assume.

This cannot be overstated.

For most women, squirting requires a degree of physical and psychological surrender that does not happen under pressure. The body needs to feel safe enough to release.

That release is partly physical, a relaxation of the pelvic floor and a willingness to let sensation build rather than holding it back, and partly emotional.

The most common reason squirting does not happen for women who are physically capable of it is that they are monitoring themselves.

Worrying about the mess. Worrying about how long it is taking. Worrying about whether they are doing it right. Anxiety contracts the pelvic floor and suppresses the response that makes squirting possible.

This means the partner’s role is not only technical. Creating a completely pressure-free environment, communicating warmly throughout, staying present and genuinely engaged rather than goal-oriented, is as important as anything happening physically.

That needs to be the energy in the room before anything else starts.

Here is how to actually approach this, broken into what matters most.

Start with full arousal, not the G-spot

The G-spot is considerably more responsive when a woman is already highly aroused. The tissue swells, sensitivity increases, and the experience of internal stimulation shifts dramatically.

Beginning with G-spot stimulation before arousal is built is one of the most common reasons the experience does not work. Start with whatever she already responds to strongly. Build genuine arousal first. Then move internally.

Position and access — why it matters more than people realize

This is the part most guides skip over, and it makes a significant difference.

The default lying-flat position gives limited access to the anterior vaginal wall. The angle of approach is shallow, the reach is awkward, and maintaining consistent pressure becomes tiring quickly.

She lies on her back. He kneels or sits in front of her and lifts one of her legs so that her calf rests on his shoulder, while the other leg rests against his side or remains more relaxed. This tilts her pelvis upward and slightly toward him, which does two specific things.

First, it shortens the vaginal canal slightly, bringing the G-spot region closer to the vaginal opening and making it considerably easier to reach. Second, it angles the anterior wall directly toward the fingers, meaning the natural curve of a come-hither motion lands precisely where it needs to with much less effort.

An alternative that achieves a similar result without this position is placing a firm pillow under her hips. This tilts the pelvis forward in the same way, improves the angle of access, and is often more comfortable for extended sessions.

Once the position is set, the anterior wall should be within easy reach of a hooked finger two to three inches inside the vaginal opening, on the side closest to the belly button.

The mechanics

Insert one or two fingers with the pad facing upward, toward the belly button. Hook slightly and apply firm, consistent upward pressure against the front wall rather than thrusting.

A slow, deliberate come-hither motion works better for most women than rapid movement. Some respond better to sustained pressure with very little movement at all.

The key is calibrating the pressure to her specific response rather than applying a standard technique and hoping for the best.

Her body will tell you when the pressure is right. Watch her breathing. Watch whether she pushes toward you or pulls away. These are the real-time signals that matter.

Pairing with clitoral stimulation

Internal stimulation combined with simultaneous clitoral stimulation is the combination that produces the strongest response for a significant proportion of women.

The two work together rather than competing. If she is not responding strongly to internal stimulation alone, adding external clitoral stimulation often changes the picture entirely.

The most practical way to do this is with a wand vibrator placed on the clitoral area while one hand stays focused on internal G-spot stimulation. Because the wand does not require precise manual control, he can hold it in position with one hand while the other maintains consistent pressure internally.

This frees both of them from having to coordinate multiple manual techniques simultaneously, which almost always disrupts rhythm and pressure at exactly the wrong moment.

The broad head of a wand covers the entire clitoral region without needing constant repositioning, meaning arousal keeps climbing steadily while the internal work continues uninterrupted.

What she needs to do

This is genuinely a two-person experience. For the receiver, bearing down slightly rather than holding everything tight is often what makes the difference. The instinct when sensation builds internally is to clench and hold.

That instinct works against the experience.

Actively relaxing the pelvic floor, breathing through the sensation rather than bracing against it, and allowing the feeling to build without trying to control it — that is the internal work that makes squirting possible.

The honest answer is: probably not, and that is completely fine.

The research on this is genuinely inconclusive.

Squirting appears to be a real physiological phenomenon that some women experience and others do not, and the variation seems to relate to differences in anatomy, specifically the size and activity of the Skene’s glands, as well as individual differences in pelvic floor response and nervous system sensitivity.

What the research does not support is the pornography-driven assumption that every woman who is sufficiently stimulated correctly will squirt.

Some women have intensely pleasurable internal responses and never squirt. Some squirt without much subjective pleasure attached to it. The two are related but not the same thing.

The more useful frame is not “can she squirt” but “what does she respond to internally, and what does she want to explore.” That question leads somewhere valuable regardless of the outcome.

Squirting is not the point. Connection is.

The reason it makes a useful thing to learn about and explore is that the skills involved — building arousal deliberately, reading a partner’s responses in real time, staying present rather than goal-oriented, communicating throughout — are exactly the skills that produce extraordinary sex more broadly.

Whether squirting happens or not, practicing those things together changes the dynamic of a sexual relationship significantly.

The technique is learnable. The presence and attentiveness that make it possible are also learnable. And both of those things matter well beyond this one experience.

Love Emma

PS: You can also check our the book i wrote about squirting called: The Art Of Squirting:

You can find it here:

https://dremmablake.gumroad.com/l/pdgkdx?layout=profile